Monday, February 26, 2007

Mile high

Ridge and Loos try it on on Air NZ flying from London to LA.

The NZ Herald reports that:
“Passenger Rachel Bernam, told London newspaper The News of the World: "It was pretty obvious what was going on." She added: "They started snogging and then she disappeared under the blanket. I was shocked - it was then the steward told them to knock it off." An Air NZ spokeswoman said the airline was "not at liberty" to discuss individual passengers. "However, we can confirm there were complaints in the premium cabin on NZ1 on February 2 that required cabin crew to ask a couple of passengers to modify their behaviour"
^
However the Brisbane Courier Mail tells more:
“Ridge was busted receiving oral sex from girlfriend Rebecca Loos on an Air New Zealand flight from London to Los Angeles last week. Crew had to interrupt the pair after passengers complained. "It was pretty obvious what was going on. She was giving him oral sex . . . and he was loving it," said passenger Rachel Bernam, seated behind the former league star.”
^
Now there are planes and seats better suited to this than the Air NZ business class pods. For starters, the bathrooms at the back of a 747 are many and not well monitored, especially at night. The rear of the front cabin (nose) on a 747 tends to be quite discreet and private, the back rows especially. The upper deck isn’t as good as it seems, because the galley is at the back and the crew rest areas and cockpit at the front. There is another crew rest area which most passengers are unaware of, but unless the crew want to share you, you’ll get no chances there. Some Airbus A340s have downstairs toilets or galleys (Thai, Cathay, LAN, Aerolineas Argentinas all fly these to NZ).
^
So some basic rules of thumb:
1. The bigger the plane the better your chances. Boeing 747s and Airbus A340s are the biggest in the air now, the A380 may offer even more chances.
2. The more exclusive the cabin the better your chances. This is mainly because some airlines make the first or business class toilets bigger, and there are more of them per passenger. It also reflects bigger more private seating, but that is all.
3. Do it in the dark. Wait till after dinner on an overnight flight and then slink off when the lights are dimmed. By then the crew are doing little, most people have their earplugs and eye masks on.
4. Find banks of toilets that are not monitored. Rear ends of planes that don’t have galleys are best (747s) though this goes against rule of thumb 2.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

i hate it when you don't get to finish.

sally said...

I am half-scared to fly at the moment, if it is not the exhibitionist antics of that ho Rebecca Loos and the over-rated Matthew Ridge going on, then it is the flight attendants who seem only to willing to give you the 'Ralph Fiennes' inflight servicing too!

Chris A said...

The forward toilet in First Class on the LH 747s is PERFECT.

It is massiv eand even has a nice window to the outside....

The ambience is most alluring and it's got anough rom for an orgy.

Anonymous said...

wot about enuff room for a spell check ?

libertyscott said...

Singapore Airlines first class toilets as well, but they have one of the highest numbers of cabin crew per passenger in the business, and are always attentive - which is exactly what you don't want in this case.

libertyscott said...

Virgin Atlantic cabin crew on the other hand sometimes look like they'd take passengers to the toilet for a good time. On one flight I was on, one of the cabin crew clearly had a thing for a passenger, started with footsies on takeoff as she was facing him, and on it went...

A friend also told me years ago about how he caught a Pan Am stewardess servicing a passenger in the back row of a plane while her colleague watched, and we can see what happened to Pan Am.

Kelly said...

Yuck - I've heard from my flight crew sisters what disgusting places those toilets are! I wouldn't be spending any more time in there than absolutely neccessary.