Monday, August 06, 2007

2007 will forever be in my memory

In 1970 a young woman from South Canterbury gave birth in Kenepuru Hospital north of Wellington. She went there following the placing of an ad in the three daily newspapers of Auckland Wellington and Christchurch some months before - she did that because she was pregnant, unmarried and it was 1970 in South Canterbury.
She wanted to give birth to this child and adopt him out because of the shame attached at the time to unwed mothers. I had only been a fling with a young man who was a boarder at the time, a bottle of wine and a romantic evening for a couple of teenagers produced the unplanned result. She informed the young man, who fled and was never heard of again. She then did what she could to resolve this little problem growing inside her. She tried a number of options, but decided on temporarily moving away in order to spend the last few months of pregnancy outside of public gaze and judgment. She had arranged this when her mother found her crying, she told all, and both her parents lovingly supported her during this pressing time.
So it happened, and as was the custom of the time after giving birth, she had to ask to see the baby, but was not allowed to touch. She was, after all, a sinner in the eyes of the state.
She would not touch that baby again for 28 years. Following a change in the law, some research and support from loved ones, he wrote to her at that time, placing a delicate toe in the water to say hello. What followed were more letters, an admission to almost her entire family about her past. After an initial shock, especially from her husband - they accepted and welcomed the new family member.
He had been brought up by two very hard working and loving Glaswegians who always treated him as their own. They supported him during this process, met his birth mum and then followed nine years of visits, phone calls, cards and presents.
She was diagnosed with bowel cancer late last year, went through extensive surgery to remove the tumours, and chemotherapy. She was diagnosed clear of cancer only two months ago, although further surgery was required.
Last weekend she collapsed and in minutes had passed away in her own bed, at the tender age of 56.
Life is too fucking short at times. Blogging will be light... again.


PC said...

Far too fucking short.

Our condolences, Scott.

Go well.

Craig Milmine said...

Really sorry to hear that, Scott.

My condolences also.

piripi said...

Ka aroha hoki
(Deepest sympathies for your loss)

Take care, Scott.

Echo said...

tried to leave something earlier but it wouldn't go through. As I've told you already, I'm so deeply saddened by this and I offer you the biggest hugs and condolences.

Lindsay said...

Sincerest apologies if my inappropriately smiling face comes up with this comment Scott. I am glad you had some years to get to know each other. All the very best, Lindsay.

kiwigirl said...

Hi Scott

Really really sorry to read about this.

And 56 is just so young.

xx K