Monday, October 20, 2008

Life's unfair


Green Party

Life's unfair - it's because heterosexual white men in suits are greedy and want everything for themselves, and "their system" means they can only get ahead by oppressing and exploiting others. If they had their own way they'd sell children, enslave women and treat all other races as slave labour too - Life can be made fair, if only you give us all the power we ask for, in the hands of the state, and we'll make it fair, we'll make sure it's fair.

Libertarianz

Life's unfair - it's reality, get over it - Life can't be made fair. Those who say it can be are trying to con you, and the only way they can try is by having more power over your life.

and all those in between?

Labour

Life's unfair - that's because periodically you elect the National Party, and they are greedy, want everything for their rich, foreign mates, and are only too happy to watch poor working class people, like us, work hard physical jobs for pitiful amounts of money while our kids go to school without shoes and breakfast. Life can be made MORE fair, by trusting in the Labour Party. Keeping us in government forever.

National

Life's unfair - that's because periodically you elect the Labour Party, and they are greedy, and want everything so that bureaucrats, unionists and others who don't know how lucky they are under National, can spend money willy nilly on doing everything wrong. They don't know the kiwi way, they weren't born to rule, we were. - Life can be made MORE fair, by trusting in the National Party. We'll see you right.

Maori Party

Life's unfair - that's because of British colonialism, which still exists and still applies, and denies the Tangata Whenua the wonders of the paradise civilisation of Aotearoa that existed before the imperialist genocide merchants arrived. The Labour Party have taken us for granted as well - Life can be made MORE fair, by giving us the chance to inflict impose use power trusted in us by the people.

NZ First

Life's unfair - It's all the bloody foreigners stealing our jobs, unreasonably paying market prices for our land, setting up businesses, contributing meaningfully to society and showing up half of us for the semi-literate knuckle draggers that we are. They trample on the elderly, run them over and steal their pensions, after all remember how those slanty eyed people were during the war - you can't trust them! - Life can be made MORE fair, give Winston a chance, again, for the third time. He's the reincarnation of Rob Muldoon, and he was fair.

United Future

Life's unfair - I left the Labour Party because it went leftwing under Helen Clark, I joined up with 6 other ex Labour and National MPs to be a real centrist party called United, and only I got elected in 1996. Again in 1999. Then I joined with some Christians and went in with Labour in 2002, then some left and I was down to three, now I think it will just be me. It's so unfair. I am the centrist party, the party that every coalition should live or die on - Life can be made more fair, vote for United Future!

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