Dear Peter Dunne

Oh Peter, it's just you again. The worm didn't come to save you, the Kiwi Party broke away from you (ah yes remember Anthony Walton and Future NZ? Yes we wont talk about what he got up to!), and United Future has been punished for straddling the middle muddle ground of mediocrity, whoring between Labour and National, supporting either, both and neither. People wanting Labour wanted Labour, people wanting a change voted National and ACT. There was no good reason for people to support United Future, even though your tax policy was better than National's - who knew?

John Key doesn't need you, nobody else does either. Be content being the member for Ohariu. Let the Families Commission disappear - you can't seriously believe it does anything worthwhile. Forget Transmission Gully, buy a dog, it will be a more friendly, rewarding and less costly pet.

However, take the offer as Speaker. You are a fair man, you could do it well, far better than the incumbent.

Dear Winston

Oh well, goodbye, farewell, amen.

You did well, starting with milking discontent from Bolger's broken election promises, then making a clean sweep of the Maori seats, leading a bunch of mediocrities into government, and recovering just enough to become Minister of Foreign Affairs. You milked latent racism against Asian immigrants, blatantly, and applied xenophobia against foreign investment, foreign goods and services. You even got some policies implemented, but how many pensioners now thank you for eliminating the vile Superannuation Surcharge that Labour implemented, National promised to remove but didn't - until you entered a coalition with National.

You're slippery as can be, always looking for a conspiracy, milking the talkback whingers and moaners, their bigotries, with flickers of intelligence - the key one I saw was your understanding of the burden of national superannuation, and seeking a way to break that by shifting it to individual contributory accounts. It was rejected because you wanted it compulsory and because your name was attached to it, but it wasn't a bad idea in some respects - compulsion being the key problem.

However, I wont miss you. You played the game of the lowest common denominator. You played the race card, without really believing it. You don't believe in choice, you don't believe in freedom, you don't judge people by what they do, but by what they are.

While you're at it, can you just arrange your party AGM early and wind up? Be a shame for those people to keep wasting their lives in your party now you're retiring.

Enjoy your retirement, after all I was forced to pay for it.

Dear Jeanette Fitzsimons

Well done, you have a couple more MPs. However I know it is disappointing you didn't do better. There are some reasons why.

1. It's a recession. You don't like economic growth, you want to spend more of people's money on things they don't want to be forced to pay for, and you want to put "the planet" ahead of people. Your environmentalism is about guilt and feeling bad for living a Western lifestyle, a lot of people frankly are fed up with your evangelical finger pointing. They want to be left alone.

2. Your patronising message about putting "our children" and "the planet" over tax cuts doesn't wash. People have children. They are not yours, families get pissed off with you and your comrades nationalising the people's children. People want tax cuts because they work fucking hard for that money - it is THEIR money - NOT yours. They know they know best how to spend it on their children NOT you. Learn that. Secondly, people see "the planet" and see that what you want them to do - ride a train, use a different lightbulb - will make no difference. After all, you talk a lot of scaremongering bollocks about oil (noticed petrol prices dropping), cellphone towers and anything "nuclear", people don't believe the end of the world is nigh - but they do care about their own lives and loved ones.

3. Most people most of the time don't want to be moralised at. It's what you self satisfied lot love to do, you love telling people what to do, telling them what not to do, telling them how "we" should spend money on things you like. Think again about being control freaks.

However you wont worry I am sure. You have, once again, been saved from being in government. Government after all harms small parties. You'll no doubt complain when National spends less of other people's money, regulates less of people's property (though I am sceptical that will happen) and gives people more of their money back. You'll frighten people about their food, about climate change, about cellphone towers and insist the planet can only be saved if people use trains more, regardless of cost.

So, given you're dyed in the wool lovers of big interfering taxing and spending government, here is one small piece of advice.

Use reason. It means not worshipping at the altars of scares like peak oil, like trains are best, like cellphone towers bad, like US military power is bad, like organic good/GE bad. It means not being scaremongers, not applying a religious fervour to matters that is a matter of faith not evidence. Then you might get more respect.

While you think about that, read Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal by Ayn Rand. Do it quietly, you might learn something.

Dear Helen Clark

Good for you conceding graciously and resigning.

You've learnt enough in politics to resign in dignity, as you've done worse. 1996 saw Labour's worst ever result with the first campaign you led the party into, in the meantime you have managed to decimate virtually every party you govern with - the Alliance and NZ First out of Parliament, United Future a one man band along with Jim Anderton. However, your greatest victory must surely be to have essentially "won" with the punters on policy. You got re-elected twice after increasing taxes, increasing the size of the state, pouring people's money into expanding welfare, state health and education, and increasing regulation and subsidies. It is what people wanted. National has been elected, largely on a platform to not alter what you've done in most cases. No privatisation, no essential change in state health and education, no end to Working for Families, Kiwisaver or the Cullen Super Fund. No end to ETS, or the anti-nuclear policy. Imitation is the highest complement, so you shouldn't fear your legacy - National was not elected on dismantling it. The views I support did not win National the election.

You've led three governments I have, almost without exception, disagreed with vehemently. You changed the law to get around the illegality of campaigning in 2005 with taxpayers' funds. You implemented many policies unannounced at the previous election. However, most of all you regarded the "state as sovereign", your love of the state and what you think as it being helpful has appalled me, but I give you credit for one thing. You still have some principles you hold onto dearly, and you, by and large, have stuck by them. Trade unions, state provided health, education, welfare and housing, state directed spending on the arts, telecommunications, transport and embracing the ecological agenda. A barely shrouded dislike of US foreign policy as well, has been part of your administration. If there is one thing to admire about you, it is that you've believed in all of this, fought it, and been determined to be consistent about that. It is more than most National Party leaders do.

So I hope you step back, resign as member for Mt Albert appropriately, and write a book. I hope, as you'd expect, that the National/ACT government does dismantle much of what you have done. That does not include civil unions and legalising prostitution - though neither measure was a government one, they were measures that did advance freedom a couple of steps. However, freedom is more than that - it is the chance to make your own choices about how you spend your money, about you and your families healthcare and education, and about adults interacting voluntarily - not having a finger pointing nanny telling them what's best. New Zealanders deserve far better than that. You spent nine years enjoying a healthy economy because of what two previous governments did to ease the size and extent of nanny's pointing finger - the free ride is over.

Goodbye, farewell, amen to you - but your policies? Well, don't worry too much.

Wellington Central: National won the party vote

Bureaucrats for the incoming government have voted for it, sort of. National came first, but add Labour and the Greens and it exceeds National and ACT.

National 11863
Labour 11339
Greens 6657
ACT 1403
NZF 531
United Future 351
Maori 272
Progressive 234
Bill and Ben 148
ALCP 73
Kiwi Party 72
Workers 33
Libertarianz 32
Family 29
Alliance 17
RAM 11
RONZ 6
Democrats 2
Pacific 2

Too early to compare with 2005, need specials for that!