As-salaam'alaykum people of the United Kingdom
You have seen what has happened to the blasphemous ones in France as they have faced the appropriate penalty for insulting the Prophet, peace be upon him. As you progressively realise the truth and inevitability of adopting sharia law you will not be shocked. You will accept that so-called "free speech" comes with responsibilities, and that includes not to insult the Prophet, peace be upon him, to denigrate the truth of Islam or to be offensive to our faith.
We accept that you infidels can live in peace under sharia law, as long as you worship in private and embrace our laws in public. Brother Anjem Choudary made this clear on American imperialist zionist television.
However, we are heartened by the response of your newspapers and media, all of which have had the wisdom to refuse to publish images of the Prophet, peace be upon him, in recognition of sharia law.
This demonstrates how much closer to Islam British media are compared to the vile publications in France, Belgium, Denmark and Germany. Some of them are paying the price for their foolishness.
You have learned that it is more important to not offend us, than to demonstrate some silly, repulsive, blasphemous belief in freedom that is not subject to the laws of the Prophet, peace be upon him.
British media have learned that Islam literally means submission, so you are learning and we have hope for you yet. You may express disgust and objection to our ways of dispensing justice, but because you refuse to infringe the laws we are enforcing shows your respect for us.
That respect is noted.
Of course there is much more to be done.
The Jews, whose forces occupy Muslim land and people, and have long had ways that historically were recognised by Christians to be offensive, cannot be tolerated whilst they occupy Palestine and challenge our faith. They need to speak up about the crimes of Zionism or they too will be targets. Those born Jews would be better following the example of the leader of the Labour Party, who as a Jew supported laws against insulting religions. We have great hope that he will try again as Prime Minister, to enshrine the laws we will otherwise enforce if necessary.
Your women continue to dress as prostitutes on an every day basis. This continues to offend us, and it is no surprise that a few of our brothers have been treating a few young women who present like that, on that basis. We expect some action to be taken against their pornographic appearance.
There is much else that needs to change, but our priority is that you do not interfere with our efforts to help your society become pure and do not insult our Prophet, peace be upon him, or his teachings.
Your Government continues to battle our brothers in Iraq and threaten those in Syria. Although we have some differences with them, we reject your interference in our territories. It is futile, and dangerous for members of your armed forces, as are efforts to support the infidels in Nigeria who are denying our brothers victory there. We are a religion of peace, and peace will come from your submission to our truth, our values and the beauty of our faith and justice of our laws.
More and more of your people are understanding this. Even your future monarch appears to understand this.
You also have taken to accepting that those who resist us are branded Islamophobes, and so are treated with derision for being racist. Although our people come from many races, we are not bothered by the bluntness of this response, as it suits us. Fellow Muslims who fear infidels are more likely to realise truth and justice come from supporting us. It encourages us when Members of your Parliament, newspaper columnists and other commentators are more concerned about reprisals against Muslims, than about the Zionists or those who blaspheme against the Prophet, peace be upon him.
You also have taken to accepting that those who resist us are branded Islamophobes, and so are treated with derision for being racist. Although our people come from many races, we are not bothered by the bluntness of this response, as it suits us. Fellow Muslims who fear infidels are more likely to realise truth and justice come from supporting us. It encourages us when Members of your Parliament, newspaper columnists and other commentators are more concerned about reprisals against Muslims, than about the Zionists or those who blaspheme against the Prophet, peace be upon him.
So thank you for not requiring us to take the actions we have taken in France. It bodes well for us to have a media in the United Kingdom that is progressively compliant with Shariah Law.
Keep your women safe and obedient, do not offend us and do not try to change our people to your ways, and you too will be safe.
Keep your women safe and obedient, do not offend us and do not try to change our people to your ways, and you too will be safe.
Peace be upon you
Al Qaeda
Note: This piece of parody is to reflect the contemptuous cowardice of the British press and broadcast media in not publishing or displaying any images from Charlie Hebdo that depict Mohammed, or indeed any drawings of Mohammed at all.
Islamic blasphemy law need not be enforced in the UK, for the media have simply rolled over and followed it.
Read Spiked on "What if Charlie Hebdo had been published in Britain"?
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