"It might sound funny to others, but suddenly thinking you are French is terrifying"

Louise Clarke of Bristol did it, but she had a good excuse. She was diagnosed with Susac's syndrome, which is thought to be caused by an autoimmune condition whereby healthy brain tissue is attacked by the immune system.

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The result is hilarious. Though I am sure the journalist was laughing with these quotes..

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This is London reports "She started speaking French all the time, rang her friends to invite them to stay in the French capital - and asked to eat croissants."

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"At one point, my sister discovered I had phoned all my friends and told them to come and visit me in Paris. She had to ring them all back to explain what had happened."

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don't laugh too much because "Miss Clarke, who still has the syndrome, is able to control it with steroids and other medication but has been told it can last up to five years. ". So it is far from a funny illness for those who have them.

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Of course Boris Johnson on "Have I Got News for You" (one of the best UK comedy game shows) did say that 60 million French people wake up with this everyday.

Is Key seducing you?

Really? Are you more likely or less likely to vote National because of him?

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Let's take his most recent remarks:

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"I believe in a tolerant and inclusive New Zealand." (If this means the state being uninterested in people's race, sex, sexual orientation, religion or lack of, then fine, but hell it sounds like platitudes if he isn't making it clear).

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"I believe in a society therefore for the benefit of all New Zealanders" (Which means what exactly? You live for the benefit of everyone else? From each according to her ability to each according to his needs? You DO know where that comes from don't you?

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"I think that the future New Zealand must be a New Zealand that everyone has a stake in" (Own shares? Own land? or what John? a wooden stake?)

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"One of the huge advantages of having Bill English as my wing man. . . is he has huge experience" (Doing what? Seriously, name his most significant political achievement and most significant policy advance while in government?)

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"The fact I was given an education by the state and lucky enough – and I think hopefully motivated enough –to go on and have a successful career" (Yes John, it's all down to luck isn't it? Perpetuate the myth held by the lumpen proletariat and perpetuated by the left that a successful career isn't about brains, hard work and sacrificing time and effort for the reward, it's luck - like winning lotto eh bro? It's not fair that some fellas got all that luck and we aint eh? You gotta redistribute the proceeds of your luck. Using the word motivated as secondary and conditional did little to help that)

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"If I could make a difference for anybody in New Zealand it would be to give that opportunity to other young New Zealanders who find themselves in a disadvantaged position." (Go on John, it's called education and culture change. You could always spend money on an education foundation, but for now it would help if you tackled the mediocrity that passes for education in so many parts of the country. This means tackling nihilistic envy-ridden culture, bureaucracy and unions. Lockwood Smith wouldn't, Ruth Richardson proposed doing so in 1987, but will you?

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Key represents the National Party's fundamental problem. It does not at all have at its base a philosophical foundation for viewing New Zealand and what it values. The Labour Party does, because deep deep down if you scratch enough, you'll find it - it's called Marxism - the inherent belief that the poor have been robbed by the middle and upper income earners, and that most people are unable to make the best choices for themselves in many areas, and need to be looked after. I think the National Party isn't that different.

Define "redistribution of wealth"

Leftwing euphemism for Theft.

Definition of Theft: "The act of taking the property of another by force or threat of force".

Definition of Tax: "A sum of money demanded by a government"

Give all of the reasons/excuses, justifications you wish for it - but theft is theft, regardless of who carries it out, for whatever purpose.

Ipswich darkened by murders

The murder of five prostitutes in Ipswich in recent weeks has had one effect - it seems to have seen official attitudes to prostitution change. At one time the murder of a prostitute was a "lesser priority", as if women who sell their bodies for sex were less deserving of protection than anyone else. In this case, there is every indication that the police, local authorities, even local churches have all been working in sympathy for the victims and prostitutes in the town. The murders have terrified local women understandably, and shed light on the sad and dangerous lives of prostitutes in Britain (or more specifically the regions - prostitution in London is an altogether different world, with trafficking being a major problem).

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British prostitution laws are not entirely dissimilar to NZ's old laws. With prostitution itself not illegal, but soliciting is, keeping a brothel is. There are suggestions of implementing Swedish laws to legalise prostitution but criminalise being a client. However this is passing moral judgment on a business activity that will never be eliminated.

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No doubt few women (or indeed men) choose to be prostitutes as a preferred profession. It is largely a career of desperation, one they can choose because they are men equally desperate enough to have a guaranteed sexual encounter with a women, on their terms. A minority of prostitutes do so with pleasure, Xaviera Hollander perhaps being one of the most well known example. However, human sexuality is far more diverse than most of us ever care to know, which is why it is remarkably foolish and even dangerous to make any assumptions about men, women and sexuality, except that which is personal to yourself and that which should form the basis for laws to protect people from force. Similarly, the (mostly) men who partake of prostitutes may be the bored businessmen, the shy virgin, the partying students, the wheelchair bound loner, the old widower. Prostitutes know this, they know they get clients who scare them, and those who are easy to please.

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This is why prostitution should be legalised for adults in Britain, enabling prostitutes (and indeed clients) to be able to rely on the protection of the law from those who may hurt them or steal from them.

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I sincerely hope the murderer/s of these prostitutes is caught before Christmas Day and before he (more than likely a he) hurts anyone else. It is a sad and terrifying Christmas period for the women of Ipswich, but perhaps most forgotten - a rather poor and fruitless one for its prostitutes. I doubt many are helping them as they are unable to earn the desperate income they usually seek.

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However, if anything positive is to come from this, it is an awakening in Britain that prostitutes are entitled as much as anyone else to feel safe engaging in their business, and as distasteful as are the motives of those involved (whether it be those prostitutes desperate for money to fuel a drug habit - another issue - or clients wanting to get off), as long as they both parties act peacefully, it is not for the law to judge either of them.

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The world would be a better place if no one felt they needed to be a prostitute, and no one felt they needed to use one. However, it is a worse place when those who choose to be a prostitute and those who choose to procure one, on mutually agreed terms, are persecuted. It is time for this to end in Britain. Legalised prostitution can then see police efforts put onto underage prostitution and trafficked women, who no doubt number in the hundreds in London alone, working as slaves. This is the true horror - hidden by a law that is archaic, blunt and does no one any good.

Leona Lewis.... superstar to be

Following Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey and Christina Aguilera, Leona Lewis (pictured) could be the next big thing in pop. She certainly has the talent.
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She won the UK’s X Factor show on Saturday night, and while I, like many, criticise such shows for not generally finding anyone interesting or extraordinarily talented, this time it has outclassed itself.

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X Factor, like the Idol shows, tends to be a largely annoying show. There is the nauseatingly repetitive theme music, the focus on thousands of utterly talentless freaks, who get trotted out throughout the series to poke fun at their incompetence and weirdness (more disturbingly they are willing to be a part of this, possibly because they may be paid for the privilege of national humiliation), while a range of moderately talented people are sifted through by judges and popular vote.
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It is an extraordinarily successful format (it had to be, ITV is hardly doing that well). Successful because people like talent shows, it is interactive (people vote every week by phone or text message for whoever they like the most), it has three very different judges in the form of the knowledgeable but annoying Louis Walsh, the far too nice Sharon Osborne and the refreshingly frank Simon Cowell. The general rule of thumb is that Simon will be critical if possible, Sharon complimentary if possible and Louis will go either way (well not in that sense, as he is certainly gay). However, the great success is seen in the audience numbers and the revenue from interactivity. 35p per text message with between 2 and 8 million votes a week is worth a small fortune, and shows how interactive TV works.
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This year I confess I have watched a lot of episodes, and the final was a contest between an entertaining short young Liverpudlian lad called Ray, who is an accomplished swing singer and all round nice guy. While he certainly had the cute boyish factor (and the northern vote), he was well and truly outclassed by Leona Lewis. Throughout this series, her performances have not been rivalled. She has been too good for a talent contest.
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However, she has been the underdog. Besides clearly winning over the judges, the popular vote has been an issue. Although she was the only contestant to never ever get in the bottom two, it was clearly a concern because of her sex. You see the main voters in these shows are teenage girls, who typically vote for some slightly rough around the edges boy in his 20s who they would spread their legs for. They tend not to vote for women, especially pretty ones. However, once Ben (30 something semi-finalist with Rod Stewart like voice) had lost the semi-final, Ray was too much of a boy to attract the teen girl lust vote (though no doubt got his share), and Leona attracted people by her talent. Good for her.
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Leona Lewis comes from Hackney, a less than well off part of the east end of London. Her vocal range is remarkable, she holds notes perfectly. While shy demure and almost embarrassingly modest, she sings with great passion and commitment, and sang “I will always love you” BETTER than Whitney IMHO (and it is a song that I largely loathe because it was thrashed on the radio when it was a hit). Check out her performance of Over the Rainbow on her MySpace site!
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The £1 million record deal she now has, with her single released on Wednesday is the beginning, but she also apparently has a deal with Clive Davis, founder of Arista Records, responsible for Whitney Houston, Patti Smith, Alicia Keys and many others.
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She is the first female winner, and her mixed race background has not been unnoticed either. Her incredible voice is complemented by being sweet, thoughtful, hard working and good looking. She simply needs to believe more in how brilliantly talented she is. She is 21, she'll learn.
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You will hear of her outside the UK soon I don't doubt. I hope that the album produced for her has songs worthy of her talent. Pop music is incessantly formulaic, passionless and banal, Leona deserves better than that.