Blogosphere to be placed on a fairer level

In response to widespread community concern about the untrammelled and biased perspectives presented in New Zealand political blogs, the Minister of Information Technology, Daffid Cantlift announced that all blogs would be subject to a licensing regime and be subject to regulation by the Broadcasting Standards Authority.
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“It is unfair and discriminatory for blogs to exist that can promote neo-Nazi, fundamentalist Christian, neo-liberal and other points of view without giving balanced space and time to alternatives” said Cantlift at his press conference today.
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“We will be giving notice than all blogs produced and published in New Zealand will have to apply for a blogcasting licence, which will be at modest cost, putting the blog under the BSA’s jurisdiction”. Cantlift noted that while industry self regulation was an option, “the widespread hatred, lies and distortion from the right wing blogosphere was cancerous and corrosive to our democracy”, the licensing regime would ensure that blogs could not express an opinion without giving a tolerant alternative point of view. “Clearly this will not apply to informative blogs” said Cantlift, although he refused to respond to enquiries about whether he knew of such blogs he did say “blogs simply publicising what is government policy and the implications of the great problems of our day, such as climate change, would be free to continue to do their good work. These are in stark contrast to those using insulting, even blasphemous language”.
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When asked what blogs were clearly causing concern, Cantlift said it was inappropriate to single any one out, so he simply listed the following:

Kiwiblog
Sir Humphrey’s
Whale Oil Beef Hooked
Oswald Bastable’s rantings
Not PC
The Free Speech blog
Gman
New Zeal
Blair Mulholland
Cactus Kate
Insolent Prick
Silent Running
Pacific Empire
Julian Pistorius
Tomahawk Kid
BZP
Elliot Who
Southern Gent
Writeups
Crusader Rabbit
Andrew Falloon
Lindsay Mitchell
Mikeenz
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he continued but pointed out that clearly there were too many subversive blogs. When asked about how so many were hosted offshore Cantlift replied "if Iran can do it, we can. We're not America, why should we follow America?".
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Leader of the Supposition, Hone Quayside said that the Notional Party would “carefully consider” the proposal as it was a “real issue for all New Zealanders who simply are fairness loving kiwis”. Quayside said “it is important to be a constructive Supposition and to not oppose what is clearly the democratically elected government of the country – that would be treason. After all, there are sound arguments for restricting criticism of political parties which perform a vital function”. Quayside said Notional would support the legislation going to select committee, and said the government can rely on Notional support, as it was important that incorrect political lines were not allowed to “willy nilly” pollute New Zealand media. He said there needs to be some thought given as to how to accommodate the Maaori Party’s call for all blogs to be bilingual, saying that while not opposed “in principle”, there may need to be “language training and workshops” for licensed bloggers to make it easier for them to meet their Treaty of Waitangi obligations. The Maaori Party spokestalisman agreed with anything that would bring the blogosphere under local control.

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Reliable government supporter Peter Don’t said he was “appalled at the standards” of blog debate as his party was rarely mentioned, and there was insufficient attention given to how critically important it was for families to get Transmission Gully built as soon as possible. He said “in principle he opposes much of what the government proposes” but that “he gives them confidence and supply because it is “common sense” to support the largest party in Parliament that he was once a member of.

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Tree Party spokesfrog said “people shouldn’t be mean online and if you can’t ban mean blogs, they should be regulated for the safety of the public, because they were not organic and many people used Telecom, which we know uses the hairs of poor children to build what was once its network”. The Trees would support the legislation, as long as it took account of the Maaori Party’s bicultural concerns.

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Minister of Foreign Affairs Winsome Baubles could not be reached for comment as he was sleeping on a plane. His spokesman was overheard saying the Right Hon. Baubles recognised his status required him to work hard for New Zealand and he was pursuing opportunities for exporting gold to elite markets. This was later clarified as actually meaning "working hard to earn Gold Elite status with Air New Zealand Airpoints".

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Minister for Labour (Party) Jim Il Sung said that blogs that said anything good about drugs should be banned, and mentioned BZP in the first instance.

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* Cantliffe pointed out to journalists that there was no need to constantly misspell his name just because the "a" was pronounced with a "u", not least by half of his colleagues behind his back.

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UPDATE - Capitalist Writer has also been listed as cancerous and corrosive, as well as being divisive, selfish and unfair.